


Chardonnay Confessions

by homosexualyearning



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Fluff, Jemily - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26525128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosexualyearning/pseuds/homosexualyearning
Summary: JJ gets drunk and confesses her feelings to Emily.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 11
Kudos: 127





	Chardonnay Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction I've ever written so uh... please be gentle. <3

"It's just spaghetti, Dave, I'm pretty sure I can handle it on my own," Emily chuckled into her phone. "I promise I'll call you if I have any pasta emergencies… Okay. Okay, bye."

She set her cellphone down on the counter and turned away to rummage through her spice cabinet. She mumbled the names of different spices quietly under her breath to herself as she went through the rows, trying to remember which ones she should use and which ones Dave had said she should avoid at all costs, lest she become the shame of the bau family.

Turning back to her dinner, she mixed in the last of the seasoning and gently scooped out a couple of noodles from the pot. Carefully, so as not to burn herself, she used her thumb and pointer finger to grab the noodles, turned promptly, and threw them at the far wall of the kitchen as hard as she could. 

That was always her favorite part about cooking pasta as a kid; she found that hurling noodles across the room could be quite an emotional release for whatever pent up feelings one might be having at the time.

The noodles stuck to the wall, telling her that her pasta was done cooking. She smiled to herself as she peeled them off the wallpaper and dropped them in the trash can. 

Suddenly her phone vibrated against the counter.

Emily sighed playfully and picked it up, "Dave, I said I've got a handle on-" She stopped, caught off guard by the stifled sobs on the other end of the phone.

Emily pulled the phone away from her cheek, frantically checking the caller id to see who was calling her, if not David. The name that lit up on the screen caused her heart to sink. She let out a breath and pulled the phone back up to her ear.

"JJ?" Emily whispered.

"Em." was all that came in reply.

"JJ, what's wrong?" Emily asked gently.

It took a minute before JJ was able to stop crying just enough to speak.

"Can I-” She hiccuped. “Can I come over?" She asked slowly in between sobs.

"Of course." Emily replied immediately.

It was only a few minutes until JJ was knocking on her door, but to Emily it felt like hours. She took the pasta off of the stove and made two plates, filling two wine glasses, and setting the table in case JJ decided she wanted to eat something once she calmed down. She fidgeted with the placement of the silverware far longer than she needed to, trying to replace her worry with something that she could actually control. Running out of things to rearrange on the table, Emily started to pace her apartment, nervously picking at her fingernails and wondering what had made JJ so upset and how she was going to fix it.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Emily jumped at the knocking on her door and raced over to undo the latch. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of JJ standing in her doorway. She was clearly disheveled; her face was red and splotchy, her eyes looked like she had been trying to physically rub the tears out of them, and she was slumped over on the doorway as if she didn't have the energy to stand up straight. But despite it all, Emily couldn’t help but be taken aback but how beautiful she was.

"Oh Jayje."

The blonde collapsed into her arms, sobs emitting from deep within her. Emily shushed her calmly, wrapping her arms firmly around JJ's waist to support her, and kicking the door closed with her foot.

"Come on, come sit down." Emily led JJ past the dining table and to the couch, where they both slumped down in unison, JJ burying her face in Emily's chest to try and stiffen her sobs.

They stayed like this for what must have been nearly half an hour, Emily running one hand gently through JJ's hair and using the other to rub small circles onto her back. She shushed her gently and muttered calming things in her ear like, "I know, honey," and "It's okay. It's gonna be okay." 

Finally, after JJ's sobs had grown quieter and her body had stopped shaking so violently, she pulled back and looked at Emily. Emily gently reached out and moved a strand of hair out of JJ's eyes; tucking it behind her ear and smiling reassuringly at her.

JJ broke eye contact very suddenly; first looking to the floor, then the ceiling, and then slowly to all four walls of the apartment- anywhere other than Emily’s bright brown eyes staring at her with such an intense combination of love and concern. Finally, JJ’s eyes ended up at her own lap, where she folded her hands together and took a deep breath to prepare herself for what was about to come out of her mouth.

"It's Will," JJ choked out, her eyes still avoiding Emily’s. "We're splitting up."

The first thing that Emily felt was shock… followed almost immediately by a wave of relief. She hated herself for being so relieved by the news, but she couldn't help it. You don’t just feel what she felt for JJ and keep it bottled up for years without it weighing on you. Loving someone so passionately and whole-heartedly and watching them be everything that you wanted to be with someone else was bound to take a toll on even the strongest of people; even Emily Prentiss. Emily couldn’t help but let out a sigh, as if she had been holding her breath all of this time; all of these years.

It was a few moments before Emily realized she had yet to speak.

"What happened?" Emily asked, her voice quiet, concerned, but… vulnerable. 

JJ's eyes welled back up with tears. She shook her head violently, trying to clear them away. 

"I don't want to talk about it,” JJ declared matter of factly.

She looked up suddenly, making eye contact with Emily for the first time since she had come in the door, catching the brunette off guard as she did every time that they made eye contact. Something shifted suddenly in JJ, and Emily noticed that she sat up straighter and clenched her jaw determinedly.

“I want to drink,” JJ stated firmly. “Wine?”

"Uh," Emily stuttered. "Yeah, yeah there's wine but-" 

JJ stood up suddenly and moved towards the kitchen, Emily following closely behind, shaking her head.

"JJ, I'm not sure that's the best idea." She said gently.

"Tonight is not a night for good ideas," JJ exclaimed, picking up one of the glasses of wine Emily had sat out on the table earlier. "Tonight is a night for drinking."

As she held the other glass out for Emily, JJ’s bright blue eyes locked onto her’s, pleading. Beneath the surface, though, there was something much more real. Something desperate.

"Fine." Emily replied reluctantly.

Maybe a couple of glasses of wine wouldn't hurt, She thought to herself. It might even help JJ calm down enough to open up and tell Emily what had happened. Reluctantly, Emily followed JJ back to the couch, promising herself that she would spend the night keeping an eye on how much JJ was drinking and cut her off if she started getting too close to the bad side of wine drunk for Emily’s liking. She didn’t like that this was how JJ was choosing to deal with her problems, but she couldn’t entirely blame her without feeling like a hypocrite. She had spent far too many nights, holed up alone in her apartment, drinking about the blonde to say anything. At least JJ wasn’t off at a bar somewhere by herself.

That’s what Emily continued to tell herself throughout the night; everytime that JJ drank through her glass a little too fast, everytime that she pouted her lip and asked Emily for a refill, everytime that she slurred her way through a sentence or stumbled off to the bathroom, calling behind her, for Emily to come with her. At least JJ was there with her. At least JJ was there with her. It could be worse.

“Emily?” JJ called from the bathroom, breaking off Emily's worried train of thought.

Emily sighed. She had refused to go with JJ the last four times she had gone to the bathroom, and she was not about to let herself be baited into joining her this time either.

“What is it, Jayje?” Emily called back.

“I miss you.” JJ’s voice echoed back to her through the closed door.

“Then come back out.” Emily replied.

“Oh.”

Emily chuckled and shook her head as the bathroom door opened, revealing a very dangerously wobbling JJ with a wine glass in her hand and a goofy smile on her face.

“You’re so smart,” JJ declared, stumbling over to the couch and plopping herself back down next to Emily. “So smart and so pretty.”

JJ reached out to run her hand through Emily’s hair, twirling her curly brown locks in her fingers before leaning in closer to bring them up to her nose and inhale.

Emily was very aware of how close JJ now was to her.

“And you smell so good.” JJ continued, dropping the strand of Emily’s hair but staying where she was, just mere inches from her face.

Emily didn’t even realize she was holding her breath.

“And you’re so tough,” JJ continued, unprompted, the smell of the wine on her breath filling Emily’s head. “So tough and so strong. And so smart and so pretty. That’s why everyone loves you, you know.”

JJ’s eyes locked onto Emily’s suddenly and Emily felt her gut churn. If she wasn’t breathing before, she most certainly wasn’t breathing now.

“That’s why I love you.” JJ finished.

The way she said it, Emily knew that she didn’t mean it the way she had in the past. This wasn’t like the times when Emily had dropped off flowers for JJ after she had had a big fight with will to make her feel better, or like the times when Emily would get hurt in the field and JJ would sit with her in the ambulance and hold her hand, or the times when they would curl up in bed in their hotel room and eat cold chinese take out together after a particularly long case before they knew that they would have to fly back and continue on with their normal lives. This wasn’t those kind of I love you’s. This was the kind of I love you that Emily had been waiting to hear from JJ since the moment she had laid eyes on her. This was the one that counted. 

Emily let out a breath as JJ shifted back a few inches.

“JJ-” She started but was immediately cut off.

“Don’t,” JJ insisted. “I know that tone and I know you think this is because I’m drunk but it’s not because I’m drunk, okay?”

“Okay.” Emily replied softly.

“It’s not.” JJ insisted firmly.

“Okay, JJ,” Emily nodded at her reassuringly. “I believe you.”

JJ sniffled, trying to hold back tears.

“Okay, why don’t we set these down for a little while.” Emily took JJ’s drink carefully out of her hands and put it on the coffee table next to hers, scooting them away so they were out of JJ’s immediate reach.

“It’s not because I’m drunk,” JJ repeated, firmer this time, making an effort not to slur her words. “It’s like this all the time. This feeling I have. This feeling that you make me have. It’s been this way for a long time and I think you know that. It’s all I can think about. When we’re out on cases together, when I’m at home, when I’m with you, or with the team, or with the boys, or by myself. It’s always you and… it’s always been you…" JJ let out a small breath. "It’s why Will and I are splitting up.”

“Because of me?” Emily’s voice was barely above a whisper.

She wasn’t even sure if JJ had heard her until the blonde looked up at her, tears in her bright blue eyes, and nodded.

“Because of you.” JJ repeated.

It was a long moment before either of them spoke. Emily’s entire body felt like it was tingling and she knew that it wasn’t because of the wine. She had been waiting a lifetime for JJ to say these words to her and now that she had, Emily didn’t know what to do to herself. She didn’t think this could actually be real. You never actually expect your fantasies to come true; they’re just supposed to help you get through the loneliness. But Emily’s was coming true before her eyes and she was worried that if she took her eyes off of JJ, or breathed, or said the wrong thing, it would all vanish. So she sat incredibly still, holding her breath, eyes locked onto JJ's in disbelief and adoration.

“Emily?” JJ finally broke the silence.

“Yeah, Jayje?” Emily whispered back.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” 

JJ darted off towards the bathroom, and threw herself over the toilet, violently throwing up what had to be at least a bottle of wine. Emily chased after her, falling next to where JJ landed in front of the toilet, and pulling the blonde’s hair back as she retched.

“Sh, sh, it’s okay,” Emily soothed, holding JJ’s hair in one hand and using her other to rub comfortingly on her back. “Just get it all out.”

“I just did.” JJ joked, her laugh being broken up by another wave of sickness.

Emily smiled and shook her head behind JJ’s back.

“You did, didn’t you…” She mumbled, too quietly for the blonde to hear.

With a groan, JJ reached up and flushed the toilet, before balancing herself on the edge of the bathtub and throwing her face in her hands.

“Are you okay?” Emily asked, tilting her head at the blonde as she let her hands drop from her face.

“Yeah,” JJ sniffled. “Sorry about the… timing.” 

Emily smiled back at her, “It’s okay, Jayje. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Emily helped her up off of the edge of the tub and towards the sink, where she helped JJ wash her face and brush her teeth before leading her to the bedroom and having her sit down on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m gonna get you a change of clothes, okay?” Emily made sure JJ was firmly planted on the bed before making her way to her closet and pulling out an old t-shirt and pair of shorts for JJ to wear.

When she came back out to the bedroom, she found that JJ had already removed her shirt and pants, and was sitting on Emily’s bed in her underwear. Emily’s breath caught in her throat as she gaped, open-mouthed, at JJ's very beautiful and very exposed body.

“What?” JJ smirked at her.

“You are killing me, Jennifer Jareau.” Emily shook her head.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Emily helped JJ pull the shorts on and then slid the t-shirt up over her head and down her torso, her hands lingering on JJ’s hips. She was very aware of how warm JJ’s body was, and how warm her own body felt, and close together those two bodies were. She was very aware of every feeling she had ever felt about the woman sitting inches away from her, and she could feel all of those feelings now, rattling around inside of her, threatening to overflow.

“Emily?” JJ looked deep into her eyes.

“Yeah?” Emily whispered back, her voice unable to speak any louder.

“Kiss me.”

Emily looked from JJ’s eyes, down to her lips, and then back up to her eyes, hesitating. She had dreamed of this moment for so long, and she didn’t want it to be a moment that JJ looked back on sober and ended up regretting. 

“Jayje, you’re drunk.” Emily whispered back.

JJ nodded, “Drunk and in love with you. Now kiss me, Emily Prentiss.” 

Oh fuck it, Emily thought. If she regrets it, she regrets it. That can be a problem for another day.

She leaned forward and placed both of her hands gently on either side of JJ’s face, pulling her closer as their lips connected passionately. She felt JJ’s hands wrap around her waist, trying to pull her in even closer and she smiled through the kiss, feeling JJ smile back at her. 

After several seconds, they finally broke apart, their lips separating from each other as smiles spread widely across both of their faces. Neither of them moved for several moments, taking in what had just happened.

“I have been waiting for that,” Emily breathed. “For so long.”

JJ nodded, “I have too.” She swayed slightly in the bed; Emily couldn’t tell if it was from the wine or from the euphoria of their kiss but she didn’t want JJ falling out of bed either way.

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” Emily said softly, helping JJ under the covers and tucking her in before making her way to the other side of the bed.

She climbed in and immediately, JJ scooted closer to her, wrapping her arms around Emily and burying her face into Emily’s side. Emily smiled and wrapped her arm around JJ, using her free arm to run her fingers lovingly through JJ’s hair. It was only minutes before JJ was asleep, her snores vibrating against Emily’s chest. Emily started to doze off as well but was startled by the sudden noise of her cell phone vibrating against her night stand. Reaching over to check it, she read the text that was displayed on her screen.

“How’d the pasta turn out?” -Dave

She chuckled and texted back a reply before setting her phone down and falling promptly asleep, with a smile on her face and JJ snuggled in her arms.

“Better than I expected.”


End file.
